Fox Files: The Adam Incident
by Sukiki-chan
Summary: This is an isolated incident. Well, now it isn't. What would happen if Adam found its way into a resident of Happy Tree Town? Well, this actually. Rated for very bad language, and violence!
1. Chapter 1

**Sukiki: This is an isolated incident that needs none of your concern...probably. Well, you'll just see for yourself. The company Evil Fox Inc. is owned by Demoness Drakon, Jin, Corrine and Akkimaru belong to Demoness Drakon, the company members own themselves, and I own myself and Hoshi. Yes, this is a cross-over...kinda. Any other series that is mentioned isn't owned by me. Er...yeah this is sort of a crack fic.  
Drakon: A-hem.  
Sukiki: Oh, this was edited by Drakon. She is my sacred Beta.**

**Fox Files: The Adam Incident**

In a space between the dimensions of fandom and reality lies a grand, almost hi-tech castle only known by the name of the company that inhabited it, Evil Fox Incorporated. How did it get there? Well, capturing Palkia had something to do with it, let's leave it at that. As for what it does, Evil Fox Inc. performs most of the behind the scenes work of fan fiction stories. Torturing Canon characters, helping good Ocs, eliminating Mary Sues, you name it and 99% of the time they do it. However, the pace at which they get the job done is very changeable, normally dependent on two things, how irritating the company's Vice President is, and the time of the month for the President. It is at this company where our (somewhat) insane tale begins. And it starts with the company's dark-haired president walking down the halls of her great company. She isn't the type that you would think would be a president with her baggy, multi-pocketed black pants that looked more suited for a boy, combat boots, and dark tank-top with a pair of false wings attached to her back. In fact, she looked more like a guard for the place if anything since she had a strange looking gun-blade at her side. But, she is the boss and nothing less. As for where she was walking around, it was the company dormitories. Why did they have dorms? Mostly because no one wanted to constantly go between dimensions to get to work. Anyway, the president was going just roaming the base, sipping at some coffee, wondering why she wasn't getting a buzz from her coffee. This thought was interrupted when she passed an open door, the door to her sister's room in fact. She stared in the room for exactly four seconds, before screaming,

"SUKI!!!" A short, orange haired girl came out of the air-vent above the door, a goofy grin on her face.

"Hi there Drakon-kin!" She slid out of the air vent, landing on the heels of her bright orange low tops. In great contrast to Drakon's dark colors, Suki was dressed in a white, button-up collar shirt with a bright green scarf tied around her neck, orange mini-skirt, and neon-green leggings. A walking color violation, but she didn't know that. The Company President pointed at an object in her sister's room.

"What the hell is that?" The object was a large, old-fashioned diving suit, complete with a huge metal helmet with 8 huge portholes in it. One thing that was odd about it though was that it had a large drill for a right arm. Suki smiled before answering her boss.

"That's Mr. Bubbles!" Drakon face-palmed.

"I meant why is there a Big Daddy in your bedroom?" Suki looked thoughtful for a moment before answering in a high voice she found cute.

"Well, I was exploring the Science Department and I fell into one of those weird Dimension Doors Sarah Beth was working on and I ended up in this crazy underwater city. I saw a little girl get killed by a creepy lady with meat hooks that got killed by Mr. B. Then I walked out and found this weird gun," The orange-haired girl held up a strange gun with a needle instead of a gun barrel, and it had a container on the end filled with an odd red liquid. "And then Mr. Bubbles sort of adopted me and followed me home when I found the way back. " Drakon blinked twice, processing what her sister said, before slapping her sister across the face.

"You moron! You brought home a dangerous Big- OH FUCK!" The black haired girl only just managed to dodge the infamous Side-dash. Mr. Bubbles wasn't happy about the strange dark thing that was scaring his Little Sister. The strange dark thing wasn't happy either, her gun-blade coming out, ready to fight. Suki just patted the Big Daddy's left, somewhat human arm.

"It's alright Mr. Bubbles, she's alright." The big Daddy relaxed, and Suki hugged his arm. Drakon just walked off, muttering about needing more coffee. Twenty seconds later, her voice came out over the intercom

"All Department heads, meeting in ten minutes; if you want to bring your stupid subordinates, bring them but tell them to not be moronic. Oh, and you better show up, or so help me I will cut your salaries so low it's not even funny!"

About ten minutes later, eight people were sitting at a rather large, circular table in the center of a dark room; Drakon had been in charge of setting up the room obviously and since she was the president she was at the head of the table. To her right was Suki, who sadly was her Vice President. To Drakon's left sat Jin, a gray-haired fox demon that was in charge of destroying Mary Sues, and his two subordinates, the dark and irritable Akkimaru and the openly gay and flamboyant Corrine. To their left sat the small, and thin Sparky, who was in charge of watching all the new stories that came out on the web. Compared to Jin's rather ragged, almost medieval-style appearance, Sparky's black and green t-shirt, pikachu headband and blue jeans stood out. Next to Spark was Starlex, the self-proclaimed Head of Company Finances, and the one person that Drakon dubbed the Mistress of Porn due to the blonde's perverted nature. Next to the Mistress of Porn was the Sarah Beth, the tomboy in charge of the Science Department who didn't exactly look like the scince-type in her jeans, white tank top and overlarge sweatshirt. Reasoning behind her appointment was that Drakon got pissed at the old head, kicked him into the shark-tank and chose Sarah Beth because she was the first person who came to mind. Yeah, sort of a fucked up company right? And filling in the positions of the heads that chose to skip were a puppy, a kitty a bag of flour and a grapefruit that was currently being consumed by Corrine. Drakon stood up, and began to announce the meeting.

"Alright people, we are here because…Suki…snore…" Drakon had fallen on to and began snoring. Jin shook his shaggy head and took over for his boss since Suki was a moron in his eyes.

"I knew it was a bad idea switching out her coffee for decaffeinated. Anyway, we're here because our dumb shit of a Vice President brought home a Big Daddy from Rapture."

"Oh, that's not all I brought with me. I also brought this!" Suki held up the odd syringe gun. Jin face-palmed, Sparky Akkimaru and Sarah Beth gasped, and the other living things either looked confused, or fell asleep in the cat and puppy's cases. Akkimaru beat Jin to the punch of yelling at Suki.

"You idiot! That's Adam!! It's fucking dangerous you dumb-ass bitch!!" Clearly, the dark demon also had a rather dirty mouth. Suki nodded understandingly.

"Oh, so that's what it is. What do we do with it?" Starlex raised her hand. Jin face-palmed again, darkening the red mark on his forehead.

"Yes Starlex."

"Um, what is Adam anyway?" Sarah Beth took it upon herself to answer; she had to look sort of smart since she was in charge of the Science Department.

"It's a substance that quickly changes the genetic code, right?" Jin nodded.

"That's right, it also hurts a lot if memory serves me right." Starlex still was full of questions.

"Er, what are we going to do with this Adam?" Jin's forehead underwent abuse again. Sparky took it upon herself to come up with an idea.

"Why don't we send it to Happy Tree Town?"

"What's Happy Tree Town?" Starlex clearly isn't the sharpest cookie, or doesn't peruse the Internet as much as Sparky.

"It's this place!" To show what Happy Tree Town was, she held up a picture of a very brightly colored, and happy place filled with cute and smiling animals with buckteeth. Akkimaru thought this was a brilliant idea.

"YES!! Brilliant, let's do it!" Corrine on the other hand didn't.

"But why would we want to send it to such a happy place." Akkimaru thought the reason was obvious.

"Because it's such a happy place you dumb ass!"

"Well you don't have to be hurtful you emo."

"WHAT WAS THAT YOU QUEER!??"

"DON'T BE SO MEAN YOU POOPY HEAD!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" Jin was clearly regretting bringing the two along with him.

"Anyway Suki, you caused this, figure out how to take care of this problem. Meeting adjourned, someone grab Drakon." When Jin said someone, he clearly meant Akkimaru and Corrine, who both obeyed and dragged their boss out and probably to her room. The others left as well, leaving Suki, the two cute fuzzy animals and the sack of flour. Suki smiled, and it wasn't exactly a nice smile.

"I know exactly who to send in for this." She pulled out her little lime-green cell phone and selected one of the numbers on her speed dial. After two rings, a cute little voice spoke up.

"Moshi mo. Hoshi here!"

"Hi Hoshi, can you get over here? I have a new job for you."

**Sukiki: Dun, dun, duuunnnn! Who got injected with Adam? One hint, it's not Flippy you dummies. REVIEW PLEASE!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sukiki: Well, here is the next part we have chosen to disclose. We, being Evil Fox Inc.  
Drakon: My company bitches, mine!  
Sukiki: That's my sister...and irritating Beta and typing slave. She owns her company, herself and Sly the fox who you will soon meet and probably regret meeting. I own myself (Suki) and Hoshi! We don't own Happy Tree Friends or Bioshock since if we did own those companies; Flippy would be in more flashes, and Bioshock 2 would already be out.**

**The Fox Files: The Adam Incident  
Part 2**

Disco Bear woke of from his very twisted dreams of pleasure and such due to a very sharp and painful pain in his left arm.

_Guess I slept on it wrong…_ He got his fat, and very lumpy ass out of bead and half walked, half disco-danced. When he got to his overly compensating, floor-length mirror, he stopped and stared at himself for a lot longer then normal. Disco Bear looked, well _a lot_ younger. He still had his (very tacky) orange afro, but his body had taken on the appearance of one of those overly-well-toned body builders. And when he stepped on his scale, it wasn't in the red-OMFG-you-need-to-lose-a-few-tons zone for once in his life. Disco smiled and decided he shouldn't hide god's gift to women, AKA himself. After five minutes of digging though his overfilled dresser, he found exactly what he was searching for, his leopard print Speedos.

"Time to hit the beach!"

----

The Happy Tree Town Beach was unusually busy for once, there was excellent surf and it was nice outside. Lumpy was playing lifeguard, amazing everyone because no one had killed himself or herself yet. Cuddles was surfing, showing off for his girlfriend Giggles, who was sitting on shore in a red bikini. Petunia was relaxing with a book and working on her tan. Toothy was harassing the seagulls, and the gulls were really not enjoying that. Snuffles was being his nerdy self and looking over all of the nearby tide pools, his nerd logbook in hand. Flippy was lounging about in his camouflage patterned surf-shorts.

_So relaxing, so this is why people come to the beach. _His happy thoughts were interrupted by Disco Bear making his glorious appearance on the beach. Evil spoke up, rolling his eyes inside Flippy's mind.

_Oh brother…what the fuck is he wearing? _

_If you can't tell or care, Speedos._

_Yuck! _Flippy and Evil kept speaking with themselves, while Disco made his way over to Giggles. The pink bear was cheering Cuddles on as he caught a wave, but was then distracted by Disco, who probably for the first time in his pathetic life looked sexy. "Hey Giggles, hows about you come over to my place for some…entertainment" said Disco in a honey-sweet voice. It doesn't take a genius like Sniffles to figure out what Giggles said.

"YES!" Then she basically glomp-tackled the orange bear. That distracted Cuddles from surfing, so he wiped out, hard. We're talking smashed against rocks and shells that really do hurt. When he finally washed up on the beach, the normally happy-go-lucky bunny was really pissed off. This caught the attention of everyone on the beach, except Toothy who was being pecked to death by the seagulls. Giggles was the first target for Cuddles's newfound rage.

"You lying little skank! You told me you weren't seeing anyone else!" Yeah, rage and Cuddles really don't mix, since Evil was laughing inside Flippy's head at how lame that sounded. Giggles however wasn't a usual recipient of any sort of anger, so she started crying. Wimp. And in Disco Bear's book, anyone who makes a lady cry must be submitted to an ass beating.

"I just asked a question, and she tackled me, mellow out!" And with that, Disco Bear somehow punched Cuddles in the face and the impact threw the bunny out to sea where he was attacked and eaten by two sharks and a pod of cute bottlenose dolphins. What, it could happen.

_How did I-_ Disco's thought was cut off as Petunia joined in the glomp party, her book sadly abandoned. Then, both girls dragged Disco bear off to the changing stalls, and hell one really doesn't want to know what was going on in there. Being as Flippy, Evil (Who technically is in Flippy's brain), and Sniffles were the only intelligent beings on the beach, they were only thinking 'What the fuck?' Lumpy on the other hand was still trying to get sunscreen out of the damn tube, dumb ass.

A few feet away, sitting on top of a light pole was a young, bright florescent orange dog whose appearance resembled that of a ninja. For god's sake, she, for it was a girl, was wearing a face-mask that covered her face from the nose down, a bright red scarf, a black t-shirt with black fishnet under it, and blue pants. Then the guitar riff from 'What's up People?' sounded and the little dog pulled out an orange cell phone.

"Moshi, mo!"

"Hi Hoshi, did you do what I asked?" Suki was on the other end of the call.

"Hai, Suki-dono. When will I see results?"

"Depends, how much did you inject?"

"Um, however much was in that syringe-gun thingy." There was a pause for a moment, and then a very loud.

"SUKI YOU FUCKING MORON!" Apparently, Drakon had been brought up to speed what was going on, and Suki was taking calls on speakerphone again.

"Are you saying your retarded little dog injected a whole syringe gun's worth of ADAM into Disco Bear?" Suki's disembodied voice answered.

"Um, yes…" That went over like a ton of freakin' bricks.

"THAT'S IT! I'm sending Sly in. She's the only one who is competent anymore!" Hoshi, unaware of the fact that Drakon had disconnected the call.

"Aw, come on Drakon-taicho! Sly-senpai is mean, she's a fun sucker, she looks emo, she smells like old cheese, and…she's behind me isn't she?"

"Obviously." Hoshi turned to see a dark-purple fox balancing on the light post. She didn't look friendly with her black hood up, and her baggy black pants that most likely contained weaponry.

"Oh, Sly-senpai! I was just-"

"Cut the crap you insolent dog." Hoshi shut up with a quick meep, and turned to the changing stalls.

"So, when do we know when to step in?"

"When we hear screams of pain." Several odd noises were coming from the stalls.

"Well, I hear something, but it isn't screaming, and it probably is in pain." Sly face palmed, why did she have to deal with the moron (Mostly because Drakon told her to).

**Sukiki: And there is going to be more! Next chapter features a fight, a very epic fight! Review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok Sparky, you've been pushing me for two months to write some of this and here it is! Demon Fox Inc. proudly releases the third part to the Adam Incident. I own nothing but the Ocs(even though one's my sister's)**

After about ten minutes and five boxes of pocky, they finally heard someone screaming in absolute terror. Hoshi put away her pocky and pointed at the stalls.

"Oh look, screams of pain!" A rather nasty idea then hit Sly.

"Shit, is that War-vet guy here today!?" Hoshi was confused as to why her superior was worried about Flippy until she noticed that said green bear was drowning Sniffles in a tide pool filled with Fuugu blowfish.

"Sly-senpai, you take the psycho war vet, and I'll take the target!"

"What!?" Before Sly could protest, Hoshi had grabbed her by the hood of her sweatshirt, and hurled her at Flippy. She hit him dead on and knocked him over. Cue the awkward moment, Sly was sitting on top of Flippy, evil perverted Flippy. The assassin's reaction, jump up and then stomp on his face.

"Ew, gross!" She then turned around to Hoshi, who had taken photos with her cell phone.

"HOSHI YOU FUCKING MORON! AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING?" And after shouting such, Sly punched Evil in the face, who had gotten back up. The little nin looked up from her cell phone "oh yeah." She stashed the cell into her pants pocket, and bounded away to the changing stalls. Once she reached the door to the stalls, she punched through it to get it unlocked. _Why is this knob so slimy?_After a few seconds, she got the door opened and surveyed the stalls. There were three stalls in total in the small facility. In the first stall, Giggles was impaled in the head with a metal rod and her right arm was nailed to the wall. In the second stall, Petunia was everywhere. Hoshi thought she saw small patches of blue fur stuck to the ceiling. She just shrugged _It's not that bad. Reminds me of when Drakon-taicho got pissed at the last Head of science and tech._Her thoughts were interrupted by one sound and only one sound, heavy, ragged breathing. The ninja cautiously crept towards the third stall, and lightly pushed the door open. She looked into the blackness and whispered "H-hello?" A hand lashed out at her, narrowly missing her neck. Hoshi fell backwards on her butt and backed away from the stall, because Disco Bear was stepping out of the stall. He still looked pretty much the same except his afro was matted with blood, his eyes had a crazed look and his left hand was holding a plank with a nail in it.  
"Do you want to take a walk with me?" he asked in a slightly insane voice. Hoshi backed herself up against the wall.  
"Uh no, you scare me." He advanced on the little dog  
"There is something about you that is," he leaned toward her "exhilarating."  
"No there isn't" that was when Hoshi looked down at her scarf; there were small red glowing spots on it.  
"Well, this sucks," she sighed "I must've spilled Adam on myself while it was being injected." She gave the crazed bear an once-over with her eyes, and started laughing  
"Hahaha, I can't take you seriously in that" she pointed at the leopard-print Speedos. Disco swung his weapon the nin, who ducked, grabbed him and shoved him through the wall and sent sprawling onto the sand. Hoshi ran out of the changing room and used Disco's face as springboard, propelling her forward. "Be right back!" she called back to him. Meanwhile, Sly and Evil were circling each other.  
"So, you're an assassin huh?"  
"What of it?" Sly answered. Evil took out his bowie knife out of a pocket on his trunks, and began twirling it around his index finger.  
"Do you even want to know how many assassins I've killed in my day?" he looked at his blade thoughtfully

"They always have the same tactics, an attack from behind and a stab." Sly lunged at Evil, who sidestepped to the left. Once she hit the sand, she immediately turned around. He swung his blade, Sly rolled out of the way. Brandishing a stiletto, she stabbed Evil in the side. He staggered backwards and the assassin swung her blade at the war vet. He latched onto her knife hand, twisted it behind her back and forced her upon the sand.  
"Well, this was fun," Evil grabbed Sly's stiletto out of her hand and held his knife over her, "time to die!" In the distance came "Sly-sen-" , Evil only had time to turn his head "paaaiii!!" Hoshi tackled him off of Sly and onto the sand. The landing, a psycho war vet on top of a small ninja. A confused Hoshi looked up at Evil's face  
"Wait, you're not Sly-senpai. Cause she's a hell of a lot uglier than you are." Sly sat up and said  
"Hey! I'm right here you know!" Hoshi turned her head towards her superior, smiled, elbowed Evil in the face and pushed him off her. She bounded towards the assassin

"Um, can I borrow your hoodie-thing?" Sly leaned in towards her accomplice "Why?" Hoshi smiled underneath her scarf.  
"I can't take", she pointed at Disco Bear, who was beating Lumpy to death with his plank, "the target seriously." Sly just glared at her  
"How many missions have you been on?"  
"That's beside the point. The point is that Speedos are scary." Sly sighed,  
"Fine, but if my jacket is ruined, you owe me a new one."  
"Ooookay!" The little nin took the jacket and ran back towards the changing stalls. Evil got himself off the ground and spat out a large glob of blood. _What was that girl's arm made of? Diamond?_ He thought. Seeing that Sly's back was turned, Evil tightened his grip on the stiletto he had stolen and nearly stabbed her. However, she caught the hilt of the blade in her hand, and plucked it from her adversary's hand, thus igniting the battle again.

Over with Hoshi, she sprinted her way back to the changing stalls with the sweatshirt in hand. She held it up to Disco, who was poking at something resembling an eyeball, and smiled

"Here crazy person! Now no one has to look at your Speedos." Disco Bear punched the ninja in the face, sending her flying into the ocean. She hit the water's surface once, twice, three times before her paws could gather up enough chakra (Oh shit I'm a Naruto otaku, kill me) to stop her progress. Looking over at the beach, Hoshi calculated her distance from shore.  
_Okay, I'm 30 yards off shore. There are two psychos and my mean senpai on the beach… _She shrugged

_She'll get out of the way, she always does._And with that, Hoshi began running towards shore.

Back with the assassin, Sly was having fabulous time going toe-to-toe with the ex-soldier, as was the soldier himself. Both of them were covered in scratches from missed slashes. Evil smiled as he parried a heavy blow from the assassin.

"I haven't had this much fun in a long time." Sly shrugged as she dodged his bowie knife again.

"I've had better"

"Hmpf" Charging forward, he brutally stabbed the assassin in her right shoulder. Evil brought his foot to level with Sly's chest and kicked her off the blade. She fell onto the sand and her mind left the battle at hand for a moment, cause she saw Hoshi running towards shore, weaving hand signs and chanting:

"Ushi saru ju ne I tori usha uma tori ne tora inu tora mi ushi hitsuji mi I hitsuji ne." Sly knew what was going to happen, and she needed to move, now. Her mind returned to the fight in time to stop a bowie knife from piercing her heart.

**Dun Dun Dun! If you watch Naruto, you'd know what is going to happen=)**


End file.
